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Good morning, sports fans!

This Friday is brought to you by the late Jim Varney (watch the whole clip for extra-delicious hilarity right at the end)

and by Federally-funded gorilla porn. (Ace)

Also, the Nationals lost 7-3 to the Brewers yesterday afternoon. It's not all Mike McDougal's fault, but he did a good job showing why he's not closing for the Royals these days.