No. No. This is just wrong. I don't care how much you loved Michael Jackson, girls.
Gump Worsley. Actually, one hell of a goalie. (Via Reason's Hit & Run, which was actually mocking Senator Stuart Smalley and Minnesota at the time.)
Finally, a murder involving midget luchadores, roofie-using hooker thieves, and Paris Hilton; unfortunately the hookers and Hilton seem to have survived. :(
If this sort of thing keeps up, I may need to bookmark Deadspin.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to throw out the trash...