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REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

DEAR AMERICAN:

I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.

I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED THE NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 800 BILLION DOLLARS US. IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER, IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.

I AM WORKING WITH MR. PHIL GRAM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY. AS A SENATOR, YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S. THIS TRANSACTIN IS 100% SAFE.

THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY. WE NEED A BLANK CHECK. WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON WHO WILL ACT AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED.

PLEASE REPLY WITH ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN TO WALLSTREETBAILOUT@TREASURY.GOV
SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION. AFTER I RECEIVE THAT INFORMATION, I WILL RESPOND WITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS THAT WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS.

YOURS FAITHFULLY MINISTER OF TREASURY PAULSON
(Volokh Conspiracy)

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Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
materia_indigo
Sep. 26th, 2008 11:22 am (UTC)
OK, I don't usually agree with you on political matters ... and I'm not sure I agree with you about this bailout, but ...

THAT 419 LETTER IS MADE OF EFFIN' WIN!
wombat_socho
Sep. 26th, 2008 12:42 pm (UTC)
All we need now is a group shot of Paulson, Dodd and Frank holding a slate with "419" written on it. :)
materia_indigo
Sep. 26th, 2008 02:53 pm (UTC)
Man, I still get those things sometimes. My favorite was from the guy whose mother was allegedly a diamond smuggler. His "story" would've made an awesome movie.
wombat_socho
Sep. 26th, 2008 03:09 pm (UTC)
Somewhere in the archives I have one I found on a Usenet anime newsgroup that read like a bad combination of Inu-Yasha and Love Hina. *shudder*
dejana
Sep. 26th, 2008 11:18 pm (UTC)
Hee, that's great.
wombat_socho
Sep. 27th, 2008 03:22 pm (UTC)
Coming soon from Chris Dodd and Barney Frank : I Go Chop Your Dollar! in the new Nigerian Scam-O-Vision!
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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