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back to work, ready or not

Had to go back in to work today since the senior controller usually doesn't work past Wednesday. (Why should he? He's supposed to be retired, after all.) It's no big deal; I got a decent amount of sleep last night, partially due to a conversation with edminster's father about my state of mind, which had been worrying me.

When my father died, I remember not feeling much of anything in the way of emotion at the time, and chalking it up to the antidepressants I was taking. It bothered me at the time, but not to the point where I was having trouble functioning, and eventually it all worked out. Problem is, after Mom died I found myself in the same frame of mind and asking myself, "Why am I not feeling anything?" After all, I'm not on uppers/mood stabilizers or any other kind of brain-bending stuff at the moment, so this lack of emotion was weirding me out. Fortunately, I've been reassured that this is within the limits of normal for people, and to not worry too much about it unless I don't have any reactions at all down the road a ways. Nice to know that in spite of all my weirdness I still act more or less normal on occasion, or at least don't present as obviously sociopathic.

So, work...there really isn't that much of it today, and I've already taken care of most of it. I may just take off early this afternoon, restock my supply of bandages & paper tape, and finish the laundry I didn't get done last night. Told Carlos I'd be over tonight after rush hour, so I guess I better do that too.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 19th, 2008 04:54 pm (UTC)
Yeah. I'm having the same thing going on. I'm going to chalk it up to family tendency towards pushing shit down until the crisis is past, then deal with it. Personally, I can tell it's affecting me - I've been having a lot more dreams lately, and feel the urge to work as hard as I can - but right now the emotional side of it is a nonissue.

Something Karl pointed out to me is that this is a symptom of people who've had to deal with too many crises. Or, in a grimly amusing way, PTSD. You either get used to dealing with them, or you learn how to deal with the stress in different ways.
Jun. 19th, 2008 05:21 pm (UTC)
Coping mechanisms FTW. *nodsnods*
Just as a reminder...if you want any of Mom's cookbooks, Tupperware, or anything else like that, call your uncle and speak up. He's got an assload of construction-grade trash bags and I don't think he plans on taking any back to Arlene's.
Jun. 19th, 2008 05:32 pm (UTC)
Cookbooks, old recipe books, etc, yeah. I'm not sure what she has in the kitchen as far as cooking stuff.

Hmm. Plates might be nice to snag.
Jun. 19th, 2008 08:46 pm (UTC)
There are assloads of dishes, utensils, jello molds and other things. Give your uncle a call, say hi, express interest, and make an effort to get over there one of these evenings after work or on your next day off.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )