My brother and I are now in the process of sorting through papers and making decisions about things. While Carlos is executor and sole heir -I didn't want anything- he's leaning on me to get some things done since he hates paperwork in all its forms, while I, for my sins, am a somewhat competent bureaucrat. So I spent some time on the phone today calling Arlington, the Bolling AFB chapel office, the VA, and making arrangements as best I could. The only thing that's set (albeit loosely) is that we're not going to inter Mom at Arlington until late September or maybe October; there's currently a five-week backlog, so Carlos and I agreed that putting it off until the fall makes more sense.
More stuff later as we become aware of it.
UPDATE: Thanks to all of you for your kindness and sympathy.