I think Cobb's onto something here, and while it doesn't really explain the moral failure of that dork Spitzer, it does point to part of the reason it's so tough to have any kind of nuanced position on anything controversial without people calling you a hypocrite. Of course, since most of the people calling you out like that have morals like Moebius strips themselves, it's just chaff littering the social radar, but it till confuses and annoys people. Anyway, yes: one winds up presenting different faces to different groups of people, because each group is looking for something different out of you. Fundamentally, you're the same person (otherwise you have a serious problem either morally or psychologically, and either way you best get help) but each group sees you in light of the interests you have in common.
Are men and women really different in this way? Do women not sort their lives and their friends into separate work/home/fandom/gamer boxes? I don't claim to have spent years studying this, but I think the waffles/spaghetti analogy is dead on. I know it would be very easy for me to sort my friends and acquaintances into separate groups labeled "Anime Detour", "DC gamers", "work" (currently empty), and so on. Thoughts, anyone?