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This is a post about family drama. Some of it may apply to you, and if it does, by all means take it personally; keep in mind, though, that I'm doing this mainly to clear my mind. After all this time, I have no expectation that this post will actually help the situation, and in fact I expect it to make things worse, at least in the short term. Still, I have to do what I can to keep my own head screwed on straight. The road is long, and making the run home under the constant greyness is draining a lot of the fun out of it.

"They lie, and we must be merciful to those who lie..."
-Col. Walter Kurtz
I lied to my ex the other night, and told her I'd leave P's address and phone number with our son. I had no intention of doing any such thing, of course. I may not agree with P's reasons for giving her mother the cold shoulder, but when it comes down to cases, she is family and the ex is not, and there are priorities. If and when P decides that she wants to talk to her mother, she knows where to find her, and I am not getting in the middle of that again. Been there, done that, and not about to do it again any time soon. Some people just don't want to hear the truth, and they will leave no stone unturned to make sure you know they're convinced that it's All Your Fault. Anything to avoid looking in the mirror and facing up to their own fuckups.

That having been said, just as my ex has come to act much like her mother over the last few years, my daughter has begun to exhibit some of her mother's less attractive behaviors. I don't know what to do about it; it's not like she doesn't have good reason, but I'm concerned that in the long term it's not good and will do damage. Also, I don't trust my ex not to try and take advantage or otherwise abuse the situation. So the bottom line is that there just aren't any good answers.

So, the hell with it. I'm going to do a short travel post, eat my yogurt, watch another episode of Ai Yori Aoshi, and go to bed.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
windelina
Aug. 21st, 2007 04:06 am (UTC)
I am estranged from my father. My brothers and my mother both know and (seemingly) respect my decision.
Of course, I had a long, ugly fight with my dad at the end of which I told him to his face, "Don't try to contact me. Don't talk to me. If and when I decide I want to talk to you, I'll call."

I didn't invite my dad to my wedding. I don't intend to let him visit any grandchildren that might appear.

I only say this to communicate that I know whereof ye speak, and it ain't easy on the rest of the family. I can't imagine how much worse it is when the Estranged Party refuses to accept the situation. My dad occasionally asks about me, but brothers and mom all know to say that it's not their business. Besides, I think they'd rather have Dad mad at them than me. Heh.
wombat_socho
Aug. 21st, 2007 04:25 am (UTC)
Thanks. I appreciate it, because I'm sure it won't get any easier any time soon.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )