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Next year in [insert city name here]

It seems odd in retrospect that on Sunday I did something I'd never done before in the four years of Anime Detour. While sitting at the registration table in Ops, I filled out the form, ran a credit card slip, and put them both in an envelope which I then sealed and dropped in the box. This isn't all that remarkable; about 150 other people did that too, or paid cash, or had us run credit card slips. What makes it odd is that for the first time, I don't know if 'm really going to come back.

Yeah, I know. I already told a bunch of people I would. That was stupid. I was telling them what I thought they wanted to hear, because as far as I could tell they wanted me to come back for AD2008. I didn't want to tell people who were all lit up with the glows of accomplishment and joy that I'm not sure I'm on side with them any more. That needs some explaining.

With a handful of exceptions, I'm not really close to most of the staff members any more. I have no delusions that very many of them are going to stay in touch after I return to the DC area (or points south, TBD) and the passage of time is going to erode the bonds of friendship. It always does, unless you work at it or unless there's some furious fiery bonding experience that seals that friendship forever. That experience doesn't exist for me and most of the current AD staff, so to be quite blunt, I don't think they'll miss me. That's okay. This is something corporate, meant to survive the loss of staff - even senior staff - and if Detour survives and prospers as I expect it will, that's enough of a memorial for me.

So assuming I do come back next year, what exactly am I going to do with myself? Being on staff would be problematic: most of the jobs require someone more mobile than I am, or someone who'll be available throughout the year for meetings and work sessions, which I won't be. One of the obvious departments will be closed to me if pkat is successful, since I rather doubt the person who she wants to see return as head of Registration would tolerate me in her department. Since her return would be better for the department than my working there during the convention, I can live with that, so I don't expect to be doing Registration next year. That leaves Ops and maybe Video, possibly Guest Relations. Hotel, maybe, since the contract was signed already and 99% of the work is done through e-mail anyway. I don't know. It's really up to stuckintraffik. (Please note I'm not trying to force any kind of early decision, dude. I'm just thinking out loud and trying to free my mind from some of the things pulling on it.)

Do I want to just be a regular member of the convention? Could I? Would it be too confusing for the rank and file staff who know me as the Chief Wombat to see me running around the convention as plain old Captain Haterade? Would I really know what to do with myself if I wasn't on staff making things happen?

Maybe, at the end of it all, the best decision would be to stay home. Save the airfare, save the cost of a hotel room and the eating out all weekend. I'm going to have student loans to pay off, after all, and no guarantee that I'll even be able to afford this. On the other hand, I told people I would be here, and isn't my word worth something?


4/2/07: Minor edit of no great significance.

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
tokenfanboy
Mar. 29th, 2007 07:46 pm (UTC)
Well you could always just volunteer with video and earn fabulous prizes for primarily just sitting around shooting the breeze while watching the Video desk and occassionally changing a dvd or taking a disc back to Ops.
wombat_socho
Mar. 29th, 2007 07:51 pm (UTC)
It's a thought, but I can't do the overnight shifts any more and you guys pretty much have the day & evening hours covered, amirite?
geekboyonline
Mar. 29th, 2007 08:29 pm (UTC)
Yeah that really is a tough call isn't it. I don't envy your decision either way. I know I find it hard to go to a convention and not attempt to work at it. All I know for sure is that it would be great to see you next year but that I would understand if you couldn't make it (so would any other adult at the convention). At the end of the day you need to make the decision thats right for you, in this case you have some time to think about it which is good.
wombat_socho
Mar. 29th, 2007 08:32 pm (UTC)
I know I find it hard to go to a convention and not attempt to work at it.

*nods* Especially with your reputation as God of Guest Liaisons.

I can't remember the last time I went to a convention when I wasn't on staff, volunteering, or running a room party for Detour. Maybe Arcana this past year, but that hardly counts.
revolutionaryjo
Mar. 29th, 2007 10:34 pm (UTC)
Heeyyyy, how come I never knew all these staff peeps had LJs until this month? Friending you. (Jo here, btw)
wombat_socho
Mar. 29th, 2007 11:41 pm (UTC)
You never asked. I could have told you he was on LJ months ago.
revolutionaryjo
Mar. 29th, 2007 10:37 pm (UTC)
Well if you don't make it back, you'll be missed. I understand where you're coming from though.
wombat_socho
Mar. 29th, 2007 11:51 pm (UTC)
Thanks, I appreciate that.

If I had last year to do over, I wouldn't have agreed to co-head Programming for Convergence. I don't think I'll fuck it up or anything like that, but I'm just not ready emotionally or mentally to deal with it so soon after Detour. thaadd and I will no doubt muddle through, but michaellee set an awfully high standard to follow. Unfortunately all I want to do right now is just hole up for a couple of weeks. Too bad for me weekly meetings start THIS GORRAM WEEKEND (ZOMFGWTFBBQ!) and we gotta kick out the jams.
dejana
Apr. 2nd, 2007 02:37 pm (UTC)
I'd say go, even just as Joe Congoer, at least once... but then, I can't say for sure that I would, or will, haha, so yay hypocrisy! xD

Seriously though, after all you've put into Detour, I'd think you are entitled to something more out of it, for example the potential bliss of wandering free about the convention and not having to deal with any of its issues or snags. ;) And knowing that it's partly thanks to you that 3000 people are able to do so.

At least once, to see if there's still any magic in it for you.
wombat_socho
Apr. 2nd, 2007 06:00 pm (UTC)
Seriously though, after all you've put into Detour, I'd think you are entitled to something more out of it, for example the potential bliss of wandering free about the convention and not having to deal with any of its issues or snags. ;) And knowing that it's partly thanks to you that 3000 people are able to do so.

Thank you. I had a lot of help, though, don't forget that.

I have plenty of time to think about it, that's for sure.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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