?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Murphy, you bastard!

I left the Washington DC area 21 years ago this Thanksgiving, awash in love and hormones and excitement over seeing a part of the country I'd never seen before. Two decades, one house, two children, one divorce and two dead dogs later, I am finally on track to finish my master's degree and get the f*ck out of Minneapolis. Part of what drove me to get out was the fact that I had friends in Washington and didn't really have any here in Minneapolis, and after the divorce I really didn't even have that much in the way of family - just the kids.

So why is it that now, of all times, I seem to be finding friends coming out of the woodwork here? Why is it that I'm starting to reflect on the fact that my friends down home have been living their separate lives for twenty years and have all gone through changes that make them very different people from the guys and gals I hung out with after I came back from Germany? They say you can't go home again, and I've been brooding a lot about that lately.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
chebutykin
May. 30th, 2004 11:33 am (UTC)
A couple thoughts:

The nice thing about the world today is that physical distance is starting not to matter so much anymore. Digital communication is next to free, so it is much easier to keep in touch with other digital-savvy friends across the globe. Thank the gods for LJ and chat, because though it, I am in easy, daily contact with most of my friends throughout the country. I'd almost say that I'm in better contact with my friends in Chicago than many of my friends here in the city.

It always happens that once you go somewhere for a certain amount of time, that place becomes home. What you're probably realizing now is that your home is now Minneapolis, and that DC just doesn't fit the bill anymore. People grow and change, and you have been growing and changing here, away from the DC folks. Fortunately or unfortunately, that is just the way of things.
wombat_socho
May. 30th, 2004 03:22 pm (UTC)
Chebutykin wrote:
The nice thing about the world today is that physical distance is starting not to matter so much anymore. Digital communication is next to free, so it is much easier to keep in touch with other digital-savvy friends across the globe. Thank the gods for LJ and chat, because though it, I am in easy, daily contact with most of my friends throughout the country. I'd almost say that I'm in better contact with my friends in Chicago than many of my friends here in the city.

You're right about that - I do hear from my close friends back in DC at least monthly, and while I might wish it was daily, I know that most of them have families and lives and things going on that keep us from hanging out together online. For example, a lot of them are at Balticon this weekend. (brief moment of mourning for the long-dead Disclave)

It always happens that once you go somewhere for a certain amount of time, that place becomes home. What you're probably realizing now is that your home is now Minneapolis, and that DC just doesn't fit the bill anymore. People grow and change, and you have been growing and changing here, away from the DC folks. Fortunately or unfortunately, that is just the way of things.

I'd like to agree with you here, but for most of the time I've been here this hasn't been home. Most of my ex-wife's friends didn't want much to do with us after we got married, and in spite of spending the bulk of my military career up here in the Reserves, I never hear from any of the guys and gals I served with - which really hurts. (Even the unit I served in no longer exists - all the Reserve units in that line of work were handed off to the National Guard, and the battalion I used to be in is now just a headquarters company.) It grates on me more than a little that the only people I can really call friends up here are some of the people I've been in StippleAPA with for years and the people I'm working on Anime Detour with. People seem to like me well enough when I'm around, but then again that could be just Minnesota Nice at work, 'cos I don't seem to hear from a lot of them when I'm not around. So Minneapolis has never really felt like home to me - it was just somewhere to hang my helmet while looking for a way home.

Mind you, I'm not fishing for compliments or symapthy here. I'm just having a real hard time understanding why things are working out the way they are lately in the friends department. Everybody I like seems to have come here from somewhere else, too.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )