wombat_socho (wombat_socho) wrote,

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So, about that camel...

After a long and moderately successful career in the clothing business, Shmuel retires and moves to Miami. At first, he thinks he's going to get plenty of action from the widows, but as the days pass, he hangs out at the pool and nothing ever seems to happen for him. He notices another guy, Jake, who seems to be getting plenty of attention, and one day he goes over to Jake in one of the rare moments when Jake's not fending off two or three women, and says, "Jake, i don't get it. Why is it every day you have to fight off bunches of women, and I'm sitting around like a lump? We're both middle-aged guys, not in the best shape, but every day you get all kinds of play and I get bupkes!"
Jake looks Shmuel over and says to him, "Well, it's like this. You don't do anything that makes you stand out around here. You just come out, lay around by the pool and have a couple drinks, and expect something to happen."
"So what do you suggest?"
Jake thinks for a minute, and says decisively, "Get a camel."
"A camel? Why a camel?"
"Just do it! Ride the camel for about an hour a day. You'll get noticed, the women will start talking, and you'll start getting some action."
So Shmuel goes out and buys a camel. Every day, he rides it up and down MacArthur Causeway to Alton, up Pine Trace and down Collins, and sure enough people start noticing. Pretty soon he's up to his ears in women, and life is great. Until one day he goes out to ride the camel and it's gone. Naturally, he goes to the police.

"So, can you describe the camel?" the desk sergeant asks.
"Eh...it had one hump, kind of...camel colored."
"Can you at least tell us if it was male or female?"
Shmuel thinks for a minute and then brightens. "It was male. Definitely male!"
"Are you sure? You seemed kinda vague on the other details."
"Oh yeah. Every day on the Causeway, I'd hear people shout, 'Hey! Look at the schmuck on that camel!'"

I originally read this in Leo Rosten's Joy Of Yiddish, which is a great book, full of hilarious jokes. Get the first edition, not the revised one put out by his putz son-in-law.
Tags: books, laffo

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