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Lose Weight Now - Ask Me How, Buttface!

The Public Humiliation Diet: A How-To:
So that's the Public Humiliation Diet. If you're trying to lose weight, I applaud you and wish you nothing but the best of luck. And if you're the kind of person who can stay skinny no matter how much you eat or what you eat, I hope you f*****g die in a fire.

Funny, although NSFW due to R-rated language and lots of it.

(Aaron Gleeman, who is also fighting the Battle of the Bulge)